Fake Love: My Testimony

Fake Love: my testimony. Read the full post or others in my love series for 2017 at plungedeep-climbsteep.com

 

As a little girl, I was raised going to church, and it was there that on a Sunday morning I understood enough of the Gospel story to be curious. After church I asked my mom questions about Jesus’ story, and she explained it, leading me in a prayer, where I understood what I was doing but didn’t actually have trust in what I was praying. I made a profession of faith, and was baptized soon afterwards.

For the next eleven years I would go through the motions and live up to the expectations of the Baptist Christian religion.

 

At fifteen I was dissatisfied.

 

For an entire year I explored other forms of faith but kept coming back to knowing that the Bible is true. Why then didn’t I have what so many others claimed to have? I had no satisfaction, no peace, no joy, no love. I cried out to God, but experienced no connection.

It never occurred to me to question my salvation, and were it not for that still, small voice, I don’t know that I ever would have. In all honesty He had to raise that question in my mind several times before I would even consider it. And He asked me…Did you really trust? Was it really of faith? Was it not simply a head knowledge, you just doing what you knew you should? Alone in my bedroom I led myself through the Romans Road of the Bible, and truly accepted Jesus as my Savior at sixteen years old.

All those years, my “love” was fake. I lived in a form of pride that I was keeping most of the rules. If anyone had asked me if I loved God or others, I would have answered, “Yes, of course.”

But they would have been lies, both to others and myself.

 

Why to myself? Because I honestly believed it. Living by a set of rules doesn’t save your soul. You can have all of the answers, but still be missing the answer. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I actually didn’t have a clue… because I had no idea what love actually is.

Those who’ve never truly placed their faith in Jesus can only have a very limited understanding of what love is.

 

I don’t like saying that, because it almost sounds offensive, but those are the facts of the Bible, and how God works, and I feel like I can say that because I’ve been there. I’ve thought I was loving, when in fact, now that I know what loving others is, I was doing nothing of the kind. “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16. Love is a fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22,23. I personally believe that love in an unsaved person is that leftover spark of God’s image that they were created in.

For all of those years I had a fake love, I was an imposter. Today I am so thankful that God didn’t give up on me, and gave me the chance to find out what love is really truly like. I wouldn’t go back for the world.

For more on how God has taught me about Love in 2017, check this out.

28 Comments
  1. I absolutely agree that Those who’ve never truly placed their faith in Jesus can only have a very limited understanding of what love is.
    Liz, i love the fact you are continuing this love theme you started in January. Keep it up 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • He’s given me so many things that I wasn’t expecting with this whole Love thing! Especially the post about the Godhead…that one blew me away!

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  2. I also became a believer as a teenager, and was in a similar boat thinking I was saved when I really had to evaluate if I truly loved God first. Since God is love, we cannot understand it apart from Him – so great that you shared that truth!

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    • Thank you, Dani! I’m actually kinda glad it worked out that way, because now I can remember a definite, distinctive change in my heart and life…so glad you stopped by and read my story ❤

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  3. Liz, Great post – Thank you for sharing. I hope it inspires many to explore their relationship. I know for me I went through the steps as a child of accepting Christ, it was real it was meaningful, but it has been living life through Christ that has brought me closer to truly feel his love. It is in those time where I needed full trust that I grew. God shows me all of the time how I don’t trust 100% and how much he loves me.

    I love your writing. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Everyone can have those moments of enlightenment from Him if they will just keep listening! He’s always ready to show us exactly what we need. Thank you for reading and sharing your story, Maree Dee 🙂

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  4. I’m visiting from Testimony Tuesday. I have a somewhat similar testimony. I did not grow up in a Christian home, but went with friends to church in 3rd grade and made a profession largely because they were telling me I needed to. I wrestled with whether it was genuine for years until I was 17 and prayed that if I wasn’t saved then, I wanted to be now. I am so thankful God persistently pursues us.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So thankful that the Hound of Heaven persevered until you truly belonged to Him. This is an ominous story for those of us who worship with youth who have grown up in the church. We should assume nothing about their relationship with God. Our yard sticks for spirituality are so unreliable!

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  6. Great article, Liz. I especially relish in this, “Those who’ve never truly placed their faith in Jesus can only have a very limited understanding of what love is.” So true. Real love is only found in a real God. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for your honesty in sharing your testimony, and praise God that He persists with us to draw us to Himself! I really appreciate hearing your story and seeing how someone else’s faith experience has been because I know for myself, I never doubted my faith and I always knew the love of God, so sometimes I don’t know how to relate to other Christians who are on a different path than me. Thank you for your honesty and for giving me a little more of an awareness to this subject, because I want to better love those around me and not judge people who are at a different place in life than me. The Lord is drawing them too.
    Bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I can look at teenagers now and see how they just need some encouragement to love God more, when others might see someone who is annoying or arrogant. It’s so easy to judge the actions and not see the heart that just wants love and doesn’t know how to get it. Thank you for your kind words and blessings to you too!

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    • Yes, selfish love isn’t really love at all! Thank you for coming by and reading…it’s much more meaningful when it’s a personal testimony to have others take the time to read. ❤

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  8. Your testimony resonates so much with me. I experienced much of the same growing up–going to church, professing that I was a Christian, doing the right things–but all the while harboring a fake kind of love. It’s so encouraging to read stories like yours because it reminds me that there are others out there whose love stories with Jesus look like mine!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think a lot of young people in America struggle with this, because Christianity is still a fairly easy thing to “do” here. It’s only as an adult dealing with stressful situations that most Americans’ faith is put to the test and found wanting. I’m so happy that He opened my eyes before I got to that point! Thank you for reaching out to me and sharing. I almost didn’t post this because I didn’t think it would be worth reading 😀

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