God Loves Me Back

loveback

I hit bottom this week. Not quite rock bottom, but bottom. Thursday I missed my Bible time, and it was all downhill from there. If you’ve had it, then I don’t need to explain it. Let’s just say it was ugly. I was ugly. Friday morning I sat down with my Bible, and I didn’t want to talk to Him. I felt like I’d been pouring out into this relationship, doing everything I could to love Him (even though I still kept messing up), and for what? But I prayed anyway…because I’ve been doing this long enough to know that if you want answers you have to do it even when you don’t feel like it. And I cried. And then I opened the book to where I’d left off in Mark 8 and read about Jesus having compassion on the multitudes. Something started happening in my heart, but it didn’t fully evolve until I was in the shower listening to my music. Song after song after song, the central theme was that God loves me. Just when I thought He was done, He’d turn around and show me some other way He loves me. ALL DAY.

I got to mid-afternoon and found a quiet place and cried again. Not with frustration this time, but with gratitude and joy. When we show up and love Him, He shows up and loves us. Although technically He was the One that loved first. Sometimes I forget that He’s really there. Sometimes it feels like I’m just going through ritualistic motions for no actual person, but every time I falter, he supports me and lets me know that He knows exactly where I am, and that I don’t need to doubt His presence or His love. I don’t need to doubt  His awareness of my needs.

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35 Comments
  1. Amen! Thanks for having the courage to be vulnerable and honest in this post. You’re so right that, even when we know the truth about our own failings and God’s love mentally, we don’t truly believe it deep down. Or perhaps we simply don’t live like we believe it. I had a moment of wallowing and wanting to give up on life things this weekend, too. Thanks for sharing how God reached you there and brought you out with His amazing love!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your experience reminds me of the verses in Philippians where we’re told to present our requests to God “with thanksgiving” and THEN He will provide us the peace that passes understanding. Seeing that connection has really changed the way that I pray…especially on days like yours. God is so patient with us, waiting through our toddler-like tantrums until we come to Him with thanksgiving. He is just waiting to bless us! Your post is an encouragement to me. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for the reminder of God’s faithfulness in each of our lives! How grateful I am that when I am weak and stray from Him, His love, grace, and mercy are available to me – along with the forgiveness I need!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. God’s love for us abounds! I love when He speaks to us through His Word and through songs of worship. Praise God for His goodness to you!

    Blessings,
    Patty

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Liz, God sees you! And you are right that He cares so much even when we don’t feel it. Man, feeling are fickle …. thank Goodness our God is a Rock that cannot be moved. Happy to be visiting today from Holley Gerth. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So real, Liz. I think all of us experience this from time to time. I’m so thankful that as we draw near to God, He draws near to us (James 4:8). My heart thrills that God reminded you of His unfailing love all day long. Praying that today is another day that you are overwhelmed by the love of our great God. Visiting from Deb’s.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Liz,
    I love this part of your post:
    “When we show up and love Him, He shows up and loves us. Although technically He was the One that loved first. Sometimes I forget that He’s really there. ”
    Oh how He loves us ❤
    Sorry this didn't get posted on Friday. I was your neighbour at one of the Friday linkups and didn't post the comment.
    Praying you sense His love surrounding you today!
    ~Sherry Stahl
    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Sherry! But no worries, I don’t keep track 😉 I’d rather people read because they think it’s worth reading 🎈 I’m so happy you stopped by! I really appreciate it, and I pray the same for you!

      Liked by 1 person

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